MY PERSONAL SIXTH SENSE

You know how some people have gay-dar? I'm not one of them. Maybe it's because who anyone is attracted to or wants to fall in love with is just none of my business... or I'm just somehow blind to whatever distinguishes hetero from homo... but we're all homo-sapiens so it's not like there is a huge difference. 

People are just people, as far as I can see... and that's fine. So if you're gay and you want me to know, you're just going to have to tell me... or not. 

 But here's what I do have. Toupee-dar. In a big way. In a big, screaming OHMIGODTHATISNOTHISREALHAIR kinda way. 

Yup, try as I might to NOT recognize that road kill, bad rug, psuedo sort of looks like hair plopped on some guy's head, I just can't miss it. It's a curse. The Hair Club for Men? Not a secret society by any stretch. Nope, I can spot 'em a mile away... Which is unfortunate. Both for me doing my best to avert my eyes, to appear normal and to resist the temptation to grab that thing and fling it off to the netherworld... and for said Toupee Wearer because unless it was free, I gotta say it was a huge waste of money. 

 Here's what I think. Lose the rug. Love your head for what it is and if it wants to be hairless or partially so, if your scalp wants to be the star of the show, well then, by Jiminy, let it. 

 Do I have to point out handsome, hairless men? Bruce Willis, Sean Connery and remember Yul Brenner? Can you see him with a rug? I think not. 

Spare me from my sixth sense of spotting your faux hair and just be done with it. Imagine the masculinity, the confidence you could exude, the honor and dignity of embracing who you are and perhaps, best of all, the freedom of not having to fear a windy day... that alone should be worth it.