The Late, Great Lucy the Cat... in memory and tribute

      I never liked cats growing up. I was a big fan of all things Snow White; the birds and bunnies and stumbling upon their cat-ravaged carcasses was enough for me to raise my tiny fist to the sky and curse all feline-kind.

     Then came Poobah, the tiny kitten held in the hands of a neighborhood boy, who picked her from a litter dropped at our animal-friendly apartment complex. “I got you this kitten” he said proudly and what could I do but thank him and welcome her to her new home? Poobah turned out to be the perfect ambassador for her species. Not only was she black and white like Sonny the Wonder Dog but growing up under his care, she grew up more like a dog than cat. How can you not love a cat who heels and comes when she’s called?
     Once the cat door was open, there was no closing it again and I’ve had cats pretty much ever since. Some remarkable, some more average, but all claiming a certain spot deep in my heart.
     After Poobah (who carried her kittens into my newborn daughter’s crib because that was where babies slept) there was her son Damian (whose personality made him just too wonderful to give away), Koosbain and Docky (named by my then two-year-old who put her own interpretation on ‘kitty’).
     There was the Siamese-mix Katsu, who just a few months after howling for “RAAAAALLLLLPH” at the back door, gave birth to a litter that included the handsome Thunder and the remarkably charming Nadia, whose own litter some years later included the irresistibly charming Mickey.
     Elma was the daughter of a feral cat who delivered her kittens to the woman who’d been leaving out food. Said woman got the word out that she was looking for homes and having just lost Mickey, I brought Elma home. She spent the first three days hiding under our stove. Odds are she’d never seen dogs before and never was too crazy about them over the course of her life. But she loved her humans and we loved her back.
     Here’s how it works. You have no cats, then you have one then maybe two and then that’s the number of vacancies you have when they’re gone. At least that’s how it’s been here. And sometimes, for one reason or another, you make room for one more. That’s how we wound up with Lucy.
     A cat mother and her kittens had been abandoned by humans that had moved out and on. So we divvied them up and I took the tiny white runt and named him Spike. Within hours we were already in love with the little guy who spent his first night nuzzled into the neck of his new man. But within days, it was clear that he was in trouble and not even the vet could save him.
     So there I was with Nadia, Elma and a vacancy. Turns out that the new home was not working out for one of Spike’s sisters and so… well, you can guess.
     Like Spike and every other white cat I’ve ever had, Lucy was all white but for a black spot on her head. Multiple black spots on a kitten will stay but a single black spot will fade away entirely over the first few months. (Is it a wives’ tale or is it true that cats born solid white are deaf?) While she looked like her brother, she was not as charming or even pleasant. But she needed a home and we’d moved her in and there was no going back.
     Lucy didn’t care much for the dogs or Elma or Nadia, who weren’t what you’d call close either. As long as the food bowls were far enough apart, hissing and swiping was at a minimum. They each had their favorite spots (Lucy split her time between the outdoors and my daughter’s room), each got plenty of lap time and all was well enough.
     It was after her girl left for college that Lucy started seeking me out, opting to join me (and the dogs) at night. But unlike the dogs who were happy to curl up next to or on the bed, that wasn’t enough for Lucy.
     I’d turn out the light, my head would hit the pillow and within minutes, I’d feel the landing of four little paws and there would be Lucy, standing on my shoulder looking down at me. Then she’d tiptoe over next to me and paw at the blankets til I’d lift them up to make a dark tunnel. She’d climb in and turn around to face me, her body tucked up against mine. But that still wasn’t enough. All cozy and warm, it was time for the icing on the cake and if I didn’t figure that out by reading her mind, she’d reach out her paw and pet my face, softly at first then with more pressure and –are those your tiny claws?- until I caved and rubbed her little head until one or both of us fell asleep.
     For as much as it was annoying when I was too tired to move, mostly I was grateful. Cats are known for being aloof, detached and so independent that when they give you any attention, affection and a sense that you’re communicating, it’s just such an honor.
     In Lucy’s last days, I made sure she was tucked in next to me at night, petting her before she had to ask. I thanked her for sharing her life with us. And I promised her a future of carefree cat fun and a reunion with her little brother. It helps me now, thinking of the two of them together again; tiny Spike and his feisty sister.
     It’s been suggested by someone else that lives here that we just have one cat for a while. Elphie is totally endearing, watching TV with her man, chasing invisible dust bunnies, even soaking up the sun on the window seat. And it’s not that any cat could ever replace Lucy or Elma, Nadia, Mickey or any of them. But we’ve got this vacancy now and I have a feeling that word’s getting around out there in catworld.
     Don’t tell anyone, but I’m leaving the lights on... in honor and in memory of the late, great Lucy.  I think she'd want it that way. 

The Marshall's $150 Challenge Part II

Six pieces, $113.00

Still looking for a jacket.  Pretty good, eh?

My Marshall's $150 Fall Fashion Challenge

Oh brother.  I am so tired of my drawers full of capris and tee shirts that I can hardly wait for the temperatures to drop so I can do the seasonal clothing switch.  But that's not going to work enough magic because I know that all those jeans and sweaters I packed away in the spring are also just going to make my eyes roll back in my head.  On the bright side, given that my boredom bar is so low, it's a good thing I don't invest buckets of cash into my wardrobe.
Last week's "Project Runway" outlined the looks for fall 2010.  Men's wear for women?  Ummm, maybe.  Military?  Absolutely.  The rest imminently forgettable for me, which is a sure sign I can ignore whatever categories they described.  And as far as what Tim Gunn described as 'the textiles", there's plaid (hell would freeze over first), lace (pretty much a ditto there), camel holds a certain appeal but I can't say the same for the metallics or animal prints.  So looks like I'm going to have to venture outside the official list.  I can do that.

So I've got a vague idea of a new look and I'm ready to throw down the gauntlet and challenge myself.  Here's my goal: To buy the basics of a new look for fall at Marshall's for $150.  Or less.

Can I do it?  I think I can. 

Here's the shopping list/ goal: 
3 tops/sweaters that can go with-
2 pairs of pants (black or grey or maybe one will be a pair of jeans. I've always loved jeans)
1 jacket either menswearish or military, to top off the mix and match ensemble. 

I begin this weekend and I can't wait to see how it goes. 

Touring Long Island's East End

So John, currently living in Canada, is planning a trip to Long Island this weekend and asked me what he could see or do on the East End.  An interesting assignment... which got me thinking and mentally touring and I came up with these suggestions, for starters.  I'm pretty sure I'll think of way more as the day goes on.

En route to the picturesque north fork, plan a stop at the Davis Peach Farm in Wading River... http://davispeachfarm.com/wp/ Looks like you can pick them yourself (and I'm thinking that sounds so good, maybe I'll go do that!)

Heading out to the North Fork

Drive out to the north fork along Sound Avenue/Route 48. Great drive for farmlands and vineyards and scenery...

The Long Island Sound... Sunset o'clock

You can go to Greenport and stroll the town and lunch on the wharf or, If you want, to just keep driving east, the route is even more exquisite and will you'll eventually wind up at the northern tip of the island and ferry terminal at Orient Point (stop at CandyMan in Orient to treat your sweet tooth). The ferry crosses the sound to Connecticut, but then you're too far... nice ride though. You could conceivably walk on the ferry for a round trip.

Head back from Orient or Greenport along the Main Road- Route 25. Great architecture, lovely little towns and farm stands... 

A nice Saturday night option "Experience the magic of Taste Long Island, a Saturday evening wine and cheese cruise aboard the Atlantis Explorer Tour Boat. Featuring local wines, this adventure along the Peconic River (departing from Riverhead) is a relaxing way to savor both beautiful scenery and fine wine. Reserve your spot today by calling 631.208.9200, ext. H2O (426). Guests 21 and older only." http://www.atlantismarineworld.com/visitor-specialevents.html

The Altantic Ocean from Dune Road

Equal time for the south shore- Take Sunrise Highway to Eastport and take Montauk Hwy into Westhampton Beach and drive down to Dune Road.                

Once across the bridge, if you head west (make a right), you'll get to Suffolk County's Cupsogue Beach http://www.exploreli.com/beaches/cupsogue-beach-county-park-1.854399#& where you can gaze on the Atlantic Ocean and grab a hot dog at the snack shack.

If you head east (make a right) you'll go past more pretentious ocean front mansions (Susan Lucci's among them) and charming cottages, ending in Hampton Bays at Oakland's.  http://www.oaklandsrestaurant.com/   You can take the Hampton Bays bridge back up to the 'mainland' and if you want to continue east, drive out through Water Mill, Bridgehampton, Easthampton, Amagansett. and eventually wind up at the end of the U.S in Montauk. 

Interesting places to stop and eat or grab a snack on the north fork:

• Star Confectionary on Main Street/ Route 25 in Riverhead (they make thier own ice cream and serve up in traditional glass sundae glasses and banana split bowls)
• Modern Snack Bar on Main Road/Route 25 in Aquebogue, A through back to the 50's restaurants.
• Claudio's in Greenport - feels like the most traditional Long Island seafood restaurant. or there's their Clam Bar on the wharf

After this, it's time for a road trip for me too.  Luckily I can do it anytime cause I live here. Lucky me.

How I'm Saving the Magazine Industry

With apologies to my mailman, I’m doing my part to support the publishing industry. Specifically, the magazine arm of the publishing industry. Which is why, this morning, MailGuy is having to nurse his aching back as he climbs out of bed.

I could say it all started with Oprah, as so much in pop culture does. Her recent show celebrating the 10th anniversary of “O” was attended by a few popular Oprahites (Dr. Phil, Suze Orman…) talking of their contributions to the special 10th issue with articles on ten this-that-and-the-other thing. As there is little I appreciate more than a Cliff notes feature on how to improve any aspect of my life, after an hour with Oprah and Friends, I made a mental note to buy my own copy.

But even before that, after the affable and endearing Anthony won the Marie Claire cover challenge during Season 7 Project Runway, I stalked the magazine racks at CVS until Heidi turned up in the blue dress.

But even before that, when I heard that Jeff Beck was featured alongside Eric Clapon in a cover story on Rolling Stone, I just had to get a copy of my own.

Here’s what happened next, after Jeff Beck and Anthony’s dress and Suze’s sage financial advice, I remembered how much I love magazines. And after taking in the Beck/Clapton feature and every other article and review in the pages of RS, I made the big commitment and signed up for a subscription.

And while I opted to pass on bringing Marie Claire home on a monthly basis (forgive me for saying this, Tim and Heidi and Nina, but I’m just not that much of a fashionista) I also decided to subscribe to a monthly dose of “O”. Only here’s where I got smart, or so I thought.

Rather than take the first postcard offer that fell out from between the pages, I shopped the price of a subscription. And it turns out that Amazon.com had a great offer on “O”. So I signed up. And then it turned out that Amazon.com also had a great offer on a slew of others, so I added one more to my cart, than another.

The mail came yesterday. And tucked in with my electric bill was a stack of magazines that now includes “Travel and Leisure”, “Ladies Home Journal”, “Better Homes and Gardens”, “Redbook”, “Entertainment Weekly”, “Wired” along with the previously sited “O” and the one that started it all “Rolling Stone”.

The publishing industry must love me. I may just be one person, but I’ve got a credit card and a mailbox and I know that when you put them all together that spells one more subscriber. It may not single-handedly be able to help them profit, but I’m doing the best I can… and I encourage you to join me. Magazines are fun, filled with little morsels, tips, stories, and ideas that you can tear out and share. They’re compact enough to toss in a carry-on for a flight, bring along to kill clock in a waiting room and easy to pass on or leave behind to others who may find the content compelling, amusing or informative.

And I know that Amazon loves me, too. Because now, every day or so, I get a fresh, new email chock full of subscription suggestions like more serious fare “Time” and “Newsweek”, timely suggestions like “Field & Stream” (Father’s Day is coming!) and “Dog Fancy” (Take Your Dog to Work Day is Coming!) and, from the that’s-a-magazine? category, issues of “Predator”, “Wakeboarding” and “Birds & Blooms”.

I’d better stop opening those emails from Amazon or I could wind up like one of those episodes of “Hoarders” where I’m discovered buried alive under a mountain of magazines. Plus, I’m not going to have much time for email anymore what with all these articles waiting to be read. In this stack alone, I’ll be learning three ways to tap into my intuition, how to drop ten pounds fast, (which is separate from: baking the best chocolate cake ever), how to tip in Tuscany, why “Karate Kid” is such a hit and how to tell when it’s time to move on.

And when I’m all done with the current issues, maybe I’ll pass them on to my mail man to read while he recovers from a mysterious back injury.

Being Here Now... Next Year

It's an annual tradition now that, as one year winds down and the next waits in the wings, I start to think about what I can do better or differently or for entirely the first time in the coming year.

I’m not alone, as ads for diets, exercise gear and stop-smoking aids will attest. The 'clean slate' concept has a powerful appeal and is, at least initially, a great motivator. Magazines and websites know this and are standing by with suggestions, checklists and menus to organize your desk drawers, take the next step in your career path or drop ten pounds by Valentine’s Day!

As I consider what I’d like to accomplish and how I’d like to get there, at this particular moment I’m feeling that I’d like to be in the moment more often. That is to say, I’d like to transform “Be Here. Now” from the reminder I give my daughter to my own reality. (Which is kind of ironic given that I’m thinking about ‘being here, now’ tomorrow.)

Anyway.

Last month (there I go, looking back again) I picked up a copy at Eckhart Tolle’s “The Power of Now”. In concept and content, it had enough appeal for me to support the Riverhead Free Library and bring it home to delve deeper. More irony as the book about “Now” had to wait til I got the overdue notice to be yanked off the pile of books that I plan to get to… soon. (If only there was a market for “Procrastination Now” which reminds me, I could submit that as a T-shirt slogan on Threadless.com. BRB.)

Where was I? Oh yeah, my goal to live in the “Now”. So last night I finally crack it open. The heart of the book is that YOU are not your thoughts and to live now is to focus in the moment, rather than thinking back or looking ahead. Not a new concept but it’s good to take it in again… and this time it’s accompanied with suggestions on how to do it. That is usually the tricky part. It’s not that we don’t know we should be living more in the moment, it’s just that nobody can ever really tell you how.

Well, just a few pages into it, there’s a reference to Abraham Maslow’s concept of ‘peak experiences’ and how, in those moments, you are totally present. And there it is, the shortcut I’ve been looking for.

"Peak Experiences" are essentially defined as “sudden feelings of intense happiness and well-being… that fills the individual with wonder and awe. Self-validating, self-justifying moments with their own intrinsic value; never negative, unpleasant or evil; disoriented in time and space; and accompanied by a loss of fear, anxiety, doubts, and inhibitions."

You know, that really blissful feeling triggered by a stunning sunset, a particularly amazing piece of music, a great physical accomplishment, or even a quieter version, like playing with a puppy... And, as Mr. Tolle points out, as you are having that moment of joy, you are absolutely 100% IN THAT MOMENT. Not in yesterday or tomorrow but right there. With the sunset or the music or the dog.

So I’m thinking that my quest, my goal (and a darn nice shortcut for trying to stop the incessant chatter in my head) will be to stay open to and be aware of those peak experiences in the coming year.

I’m going to dial down the requirement, too, in an attempt to make them more plentiful. Rather than having to conquer Mount Everest, I know I can experience intense happiness and well-being from something really funny, or furry (my dogs and cats snap me into a right now), re-connecting with friends (even via a quick facebook exchange)… then of course there’s the magic of myPod (I LOVE this song!) that never fails to lift my spirits… the geese that fly over my house twice a day, the Long Island Sound a few blocks north…

It seems that it shouldn’t be too much of a challenge to have at least one pure, fabulously uplifting moment every day. And if one is easy, two is possible and maybe, by the time I’m looking ahead to the following year, I won’t be looking ahead at all but be happily living in the moment every minute.

But for now, I’ll try to "Be Here Now", at least once a day.

My Fabulous Facebook Birthday

I have always loved my birthday. What’s not to love? As a Halloween baby, I spent my birthdays opening presents (oooh), dressing up in costumes (yeah!) eating pumpkin-shaped birthday cakes and, as if that wasn’t enough fun, heading out for massive candy donations from every door I could get to.

Really, as a kid AND the Queen of the Sweet Tooth, what could be better?

Fortunately, as I so intently live the motto “You’re only young once, but can be immature indefinitely” not a lot has changed.

I still get presents and eat more than my fill of birthday cake. And, while I don’t dress up any differently than whatever I scratch together any other day, I still get plenty of candy. Some by overbuying for the anticipated trick-or-treaters, and some given to me by friends and family who know that the way to my heart is through a bag of Baby Ruths, or Butterfingers, or Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups or M&M’s or… well, you get the idea.

But this year I got something more. On top of cakes and the candy and the presents. This year I got a gianormous virtual hug from my facebook friends. And it was spectacular.

In years past, I’ve gotten cards, phone calls, visits and email flooding me with appreciation for the people who color my life and make it so satisfying. But this year, the first as a member of the ever-expanding facebook community, I logged on birthday morning to find my page covered with wishes, greetings, virtual gifts and even a link to the singing Corgis on YouTube.

Of course, facebook makes it so easy to know who’s birthday is coming up (look, the list is over there in the right column) and all you have to do, really, is click and type and you’ve met the birthday obligation. But that doesn’t minimize the impact of a page covered with Birthday messages. And in spite of the ease and seemingly mindless act of sending off a greeting, I’m learning that sending feels almost as good as being on the receiving page.

Assuming that most of your ‘friends’ are actually people that you know in one way or another, in taking the moment to construct the message, you’re focusing on them, who they are and their place in your life. And in that moment of connection and recollection, you also experience a wave of gratitude and that warm, fuzzy feeling triggered by a memory with meaning. So as you’re typing “Happy Birthday”, it is less of a pat greeting than of a wish from your heart.

That’s what it’s like for me. I’m grateful that facebook gives me that little nudge to take a minute to reconnect and share a tiny slice of that emotion. And as I read through the birthday greetings posted by my facebook friends, I see them as more than a couple of keystrokes triggered by a computer reminder. I feel them as a virtual hug transmitted not so much via broadband but through our emotional connection.

So to all my facebook friends, thank you. And you should know that you got your wish. Your posts, and a bag of Baby Ruths, made it a very happy birthday.

Now if I could just figure out how to share all this leftover candy...

Welcome to Voicemail Hell. Satan will be with you shortly.

Voicemail. Sometimes I get paid to do it and sometimes I feel I’m paying with my soul to use it. I should be a bigger fan of the technology, given that it has supplied me, and many of my fellow voiceover artists, with a lot of work. But truth be told, I can’t stand it.

I like speaking with a real person and doing business with companies that have some of those real people answering the phones. If your business is too big, or you just can’t afford to pay someone to man (or woman) the phones, I beg you, at least keep it simple.

Aside from the time it takes to sit through a long greeting and sort through a longer menu, if you’re calling with a problem you’re usually feeling a little impatient to start. So you know how it feels when you get this:

Thank you for calling our great big company. (insert a few words or lines defining just how great said business is, here) In an effort to serve you better, please make your selection from the following menu:
If you’re calling about this, press or say; that
If you’re calling about that, press or say; this
If you’re calling about something else, try another button.
If you’re calling about whatever, well then you can press another button.
If you have haven’t heard anything that relates to what you’re calling about, press this or that or another one.
If you still haven’t figured out what button to press, please press 0 to repeat this menu. Cause that’ll help.

If you do use voicemail, keep the greeting and menu options short. And if you really want to make your callers happy, give them the option to speak to a person right away. (Kudos to Delta Airlines who recently added that choice to their initial menu of options)

Even more maddening is the multiple answer quiz by corporations who give you the distinct impression they really don’t want to serve you at all. Companies like Verizon, a phone company that ironically doesn’t answer their own phones. The message begins with the same open; company name, brief plug, salute to the ever important customer (that would be you). Only now you’ve really got to be paying attention because this is a test and one wrong answer will send you back to the start of the game.

Are you calling about flight times/international service/seat assignments… home/business/internet service? Rounds two and three further narrow down the reason for your call. Somewhere around the fourth or fifth round, you’re asked to speak or enter your account or phone number so that we ‘pull up your records to serve you better”. Whew… batting 1000, you’ve passed and are now told you’ll be put through to the next available representative.

But you’ve only passed the multiple choice portion. Now they’re going to test your endurance. “Your hold time is approximately… TWENTY-TWO… minutes.”

Voicemail breakthrough tip number one: Don’t hang up. Figure everyone else is hanging up. They’re either making up the number to clear the lines or the hold time is actually twenty-two minutes or more. If they’re just trying to scare off calls, you should be on with a real person within three minutes… Once you’ve gone beyond three… well, hopefully you have a speakerphone and a good book.

I rarely ever make it to the end of the menu. Somewhere between the warm greeting and the folksy suggestion that I should listen to the entire list before making my selection, I’m alternately hitting “0” and screaming “AGENT! AGENT! AGENT!”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t understand you. Let’s start over. Are you calling about a business or home account? For business, press one…”

I’ll let you in on a secret. I’ve discovered that if you scream an obscenity or even shout the name of your dog or just make a really loud noise, some systems will immediately transfer you to a live person. I guess some companies have learned it’s not good to push the limits of their customers.

There’s also an excellent website www.GetHuman.com that has a list of how to bypass voicemail systems and get right to a real live person. The more trickstery companies have opted not to use “0” because that would make it too easy to reach their representatives.

Here’s another secret. If nothing else works and the menu offers a chance to enter ‘your party’s extension’, just starting trying random numbers that might potentially be extensions. And if you can’t crack the extension code, do a google search for press releases/media relations for that company. At the very least, you may find an inside number and get you on the phone with someone who just might care that you’re having a problem.

But short of cracking codes, following links and having your patience and articulation skills challenged, shouldn’t we just be able to speak to a company we’re doing business with, without having to pass a test?

If you have a dog named Rosie, press or say one.
If you had a hot dog yesterday and then were immediately sorry, press or say two.
If you’ve unlocked the secret of the pyramids, please press or say three.
If you’re sitting at your desk right now, banging your head against the keyboard so that they’re making little square impressions on your forehead that all your co-workers will laugh at later, press or say four.
Or hang up and dial the number of a company who cares.
Good bye.

You have a CAR in your garage????

In response to Nancy and her moving diatribe about her overstuffed garage (http://www.nanpatience.com/?p=625), I have this to say:

Nan! I hear ya, sister.

It's a fight to get the garage door open wide enough to fling something more on top of the pile.

But that is today. Tomorrow at this time there will be floor space and no more piles (or at least smaller ones) because tomorrow I. Am. Having. A. Yard. Sale.

I will try to convince the passersby to stop and the stoppers to load up their wagons, SUVS or bicycle baskets with the stuff I just had to have (that little espresso maker is going, mark my words) but can no longer justify the space they take up in my house.

I long for order, for less to dust, for fewer THINGS, but then I stop in Homegoods or TJMaxx and -would-ya-look-at-that? Isn't it just darling?? Something I must bring home... which will someday find its way to a future yard sale.

And thanks to your inspiration, I'm going to take before and after photos of the garage, the front porch and even here in my little office... where the piles of bags and boxes are spending their last night with me.

I hope.

I found it ironic that the first thing I thought to do after making my internal pledge to back away from the computer, was to go on the computer and write about it. And then post it here, on my blog. Hmmm. Like a trained monkey. Or a computer junkie. 

 Like most of us these days, I spend an inordinate amount of time sitting in front of my high tech hearth. Basking in the glow of my desktop photo of the week… getting in touch with the outside world through stories on igoogle, updates on facebook and emails from daughters of displaced shahs and sheiks. 

 But that’s not all that eats up my time until I’ve surfed through dinner and past daylight and have to sign off, power down and get some sleep so I can pop out of bed before daybreak and start up all over again. 

 Turns out just about everything in my life these days is linked, or should I say wired, to the computer and its many capabilities. Beyond email, which I’ve used quite effectively to stay in some sort of touch with those who are just outside my daily circle, I have actually managed to incorporate the computer into every aspect of every one of my jobs plus a couple of hobbies as well. 

 I’m up before the sun and off to the Mighty WALK 97.5, where I co-host a morning radio show. My alarm goes off, and before I even pour my first eye-opening cup of coffee, I shuffle to my computer and fire it up. Then I get the coffee, get on line, check my personal email and what’s going on in the world so I know what we’ll be talking about today. That’s just round one. Once I get to the station, I log on to that computer, read and respond to my station email and spend the next four hours researching for the Showbiz Buzz (our morning entertainment report) and any other item of interest that we can share. Nine a.m., I sign off, shut down and move on.

 I am one of three partners who have built Gotta Go Cruises, a travel agency that specializes and excels in cruise vacations. How do we book those cruises?? On the internet. How do we stay updated on the industry? Through the internet. And how do we alert our clients to special pricing, events and promotions?? You’re catching on. 

 At the end of the day at Gotta Go, I head home where the dogs are waiting… but so is a slew of potential voiceover jobs that I am compelled to check on. There are two websites that provide work, almost always proceeded by an audition. So first I check what auditions are open, then I record (onto the computer), then I email the auditions in and you’d think then I would just sign off and walk the dogs. But no, that’s not usually the case. 

 If I can resist the temptation to check my email again (either personal or for Gotta Go) and can back away from doing any prep work for the next day’s broadcast, I can still bask in the cool glow of the monitor with my camera. It’s digital, don’t you know, which means after I take the pictures, I move on to download them into the computer. I have software which gives me great editing options, so if it’s not perfect coming out of the camera, it’ll be perfect by the time I hit save. Then I can post it on www.Flickr.com or create a slide show at www.Slide.com, which I can then post on facebook (or www.GottaGoCruises.com, if it’s from a cruise or a ship tour) or maybe I’ll just use it on my voiceover website or email it along with a quick note…

And there’s always writing for writing’s sake. Starting on stories, essays on observations of life, or just making notes for a book that I may or may not ever really get around to writing. Partly because I don’t want to commit to spending countless hours on the computer. Which is also mighty ironic. You see? And, as I said at the start, as all this occurred to me the other night, my first thought was ‘I have to write about this’…. And put it on my blog. And now, before I go to AllRecipes.com to find a great cookie recipe, or amazon.com to buy…well, just to buy anything, I’m going to sign off and… uh… go watch TV. It’s like slow withdrawal. I’ll still be staring at a screen, but at least I’ll be resting my hands.

Boycotting the Happy Face. Or Why Wal-Mart won't get my dollar

I am a girl who boycotts. I didn’t start out that way, in that I was never working to make a statement, really. It was just a natural response to not liking something.

Take Wal-Mart. Please, take Wal-Mart. And get it the hell out of Riverhead. They’re here now, in my own town where their big blue building isn’t quite big enough for them anymore. So they’re working at bulldozing the townspeople and the town board and the wide open, empty acres so they can build a Super Wal-Mart that I won’t shop at either. They’re spending a lot of money on lawyers to argue against our arguments against their plan for retail domination.

I used to look on ol’ Sam’s big idea as a stellar example of good ol’ American ingenuity. Yup, Sam saw a need and built up quite a business for himself. But at some point, after ol’ Sam passed on to his great reward, something changed. It was, I’m thinking, the point where the business went from being about people to being about profit. Not like I’m against making money but I think you have to have a little heart in the drive to succeed.

So, Wal-Mart lost its heart and started moving, uninvited and often unwelcome, into towns and cities, putting up their gianormous blue store fronts and running local businesses into the ground. And often then leaving themselves, if it turned out that target community couldn’t buy enough discounted clothing, kitchen tools and seasonal supplies to beef up the bottom line.

There was a story years back on ’60 Minutes’. That’s what kicked off my big boycott of Wal-Mart. A focus on a tiny town with a bustling, neighborly Main Street that turned to a dusty road lined with boarded up shops when they couldn’t compete with the initially super-low discounts that Wal-Mart brought to town. But when it turned out that this particular slice of Small Town, USA didn’t generate as big a bottom line as Wal-Mart had hoped for, they pulled up stakes and hightailed off in search of the next town to pillage.

Were they sorry? Not according to the smug exec who sold his soul on camera admitting that the heart of the town, the people of the town, nothing about the town really mattered at all to them. It was about profit.

After that, how could I possibly give them a nickel?

Interestingly enough, it turns out they’re even worse than that. Documented stories of sweat shops, abuse of the social assistance programs and a refusal to pay people what they’re worth or give them the promotions and opportunities that they’ve worked hard enough to earn. You can see it all in a fascinating documentary peeking in the back door of Wal-Mart. It’s called “The High Cost of Low Prices”. And even if you take it with a grain of salt, there’s so much there you can’t help but see a different side of Wal-Mart. Different than the warm, fuzzy commercials are trying to show, different than the happy face logo and different enough that maybe you’ll get why I’m a girl who boycotts.

Saving Money on Shopping!

According to a recent article on CNN Money, one survey says 65 percent of consumers would not complete a purchase if there was no deal involved. But how many of those 65 percent were willing to make that deal happen?

Surprisingly, it's not that hard. All it takes is a little time and, sometimes, a little nerve. Before you get overwhelmed with guilt or an over-riding sense of cheapness, remember that whether it's brick-and-mortar or an on-line store, they're in business to sell and if they don't, they won't stay in business.

AOL asked their readers: Do you search for coupon codes before you order online? Nearly 6 out of 10 of the 1430 voters said no. Leaving 4 out of 10 (and you bet I'm in that category) nodding their heads yes. And why not! (The exact numbers were: No 59%, Yes 41%)

You're already on line, so why not spend a couple of minutes doing a Google search for websites that'll do the work for you. Or just read on.

3 EZ Steps to Saving In Store or OnLine:
1) Find the best price on checking comparison sites like Pricegrabber.com, MySimon.com or PriceScan.com
2) Search for discounts and free shipping offers at coupon sharing site like CouponCabin.com, Couponcodes.com (get printable coupons too, at Printable-coupons.blogspot.com and Wow-coupons.com) and my recent favorite, RetailMeNot.com (who say they had 4 million visitors in May, up 260% from a year ago. Guess I'm not their only new visitor.)
3) Watch for future price drops with a price protection service like PriceProtectr.com. Plenty of retailers will refund the difference if the price of a product is reduced within a certain amount of time after the purchase.

Now when it comes to old-fashioned face to face haggling, nearly 6 out of 10 in that same AOL poll say they've never tried to negotiate the price of an item in a chain store.

That's just crazy! On behalf of the nearly 4 out of 10 of us who have, I can tell you that I've almost always gotten a better deal. Like your Momma always said "If you want you something, you've got to ask". Unless your mom never told you that, in which case you'll just have to take it from me. (exact results were No 56%, Yes 44%) So get up your nerve and try these:

Three steps to big savings in stores
1) Price Matching- Many big chains advertise extra savings against a lower advertised price. So easy. But if they don't, then it's up to you to try...

2) Haggling - once restricted to flea markets and car dealerships - has become acceptable in the retail marketplace. A good place to start is to speak with a manager and ask if the listed price is the best possible deal. Remember, he's there to help you buy!

3) Asking for a discount on slightly imperfect merchandise - Here's the least known shortcut to savings on items that have been on display or clothing that's missing a button. Electronics sold "out of the box" are also a source of great bargains, though they might be missing instructions, which you can find online.

Ultimately, everyone wins. You win because you've saved some moolah, the store wins because they've moved merchandise and the economy wins thanks to your selfless contribution. And it was so easy! Good going.

MY PERSONAL SIXTH SENSE

You know how some people have gay-dar? I'm not one of them. Maybe it's because who anyone is attracted to or wants to fall in love with is just none of my business... or I'm just somehow blind to whatever distinguishes hetero from homo... but we're all homo-sapiens so it's not like there is a huge difference. 

People are just people, as far as I can see... and that's fine. So if you're gay and you want me to know, you're just going to have to tell me... or not. 

 But here's what I do have. Toupee-dar. In a big way. In a big, screaming OHMIGODTHATISNOTHISREALHAIR kinda way. 

Yup, try as I might to NOT recognize that road kill, bad rug, psuedo sort of looks like hair plopped on some guy's head, I just can't miss it. It's a curse. The Hair Club for Men? Not a secret society by any stretch. Nope, I can spot 'em a mile away... Which is unfortunate. Both for me doing my best to avert my eyes, to appear normal and to resist the temptation to grab that thing and fling it off to the netherworld... and for said Toupee Wearer because unless it was free, I gotta say it was a huge waste of money. 

 Here's what I think. Lose the rug. Love your head for what it is and if it wants to be hairless or partially so, if your scalp wants to be the star of the show, well then, by Jiminy, let it. 

 Do I have to point out handsome, hairless men? Bruce Willis, Sean Connery and remember Yul Brenner? Can you see him with a rug? I think not. 

Spare me from my sixth sense of spotting your faux hair and just be done with it. Imagine the masculinity, the confidence you could exude, the honor and dignity of embracing who you are and perhaps, best of all, the freedom of not having to fear a windy day... that alone should be worth it.

RE- NAMING GLOBAL WARMING..

Global Warming got you down? Can't find a reporter to take it seriously? Frustrated that coverage of 'Who's the baby daddy?' got the attention while the bleak report by 441 scientists on Climate Change was pretty much ignored? 

I hear ya. And I've got an idea. We've got to pass legislation to toss "Global Warming" and replace it with "THE CLIMATE CRISIS". Kinda makes it difficult to ignore, mock or to sweep under the rug, don't you think? People who shall remain nameless (okay, Mark and thousands more) are missing the big picture. They're finding it too easy to turn a blind eye to what we're doing to our environment, our atmosphere and our home planet. 

The media is partly to blame -because a cynical and significant portion (okay, FOX News and then some) aren't giving it half the attention that they've given the passing of Don Ho. The white hot spotlight of news is too focused on Angelina's next adoptee or Sanjaya's next hairstyle rather than addressing the threat of extinction to, among other species, the Polar Bear. I mean, aren't Polar Bears as cute as any of Angelina's kids??

 There's a very revealing part of the documentary "An Inconvenient Truth", where they look at a sample group of articles from scientific journals on Global Warming and find 100% report a very real threat. Conversely of the same number of reports sampled in the mass media, nearly HALF either discounted or refuted the reality of a global warming crisis. (And now because of a rabid, foaming-at-the-mouth media circus surrounding Don Imus and an offhanded remark (yes, it was offensive and racist and sexist and just STUPID but you're telling me that it's worse than anything Howard "PigBoy" Stern ever said? Or did? Or promoted?? I don't think so... but I digress) we've lost the voice of a man who at least had some sort of awareness of the dark side of politics and media and attempted to shine a little light on it. And who, or what are we left with? Oh, I've gotten way off track.) 

 All I want to say is, let's start referring to the fact that the temperature of the earth is steadily climbing, that we're facing horrific and uncontrollable weather events that are resulting in great loss of lives, homes and property (and even, baby rant here: the loss of STINKING INSURANCE COVERAGE by the companies that were more than happy to take your money when there was little chance they'd have to give it back). Oh dear. I seem to be building up a lot of steam. Ah hem... 

Again, the point that I'm calmly and quietly trying to make is, can we just get a movement going to replace the soft-peddled and innocuous 'global warming' with the way more direct and impossible to ridicule 'Climate Crisis'? Maybe that way no one will be able to make a joke about it when a record cold is recorded (climate crisis!!) or there is an unseasonable amount of rainfall (climate crisis!!). I say give it a name with some teeth. Maybe that's the only way it'll really sink in for some people.

THE DARK SIDE OF "THE SECRET"

Oh Dear. Just back from a shopping trip at Marshall's (my very favorite store in the world... I'm planning the Marshall's World Tour someday but in the meantime, just trying to hit every location I can... but that's another story.)

Where was I? Oh, right... shopping.

So there I was in the dressing room, slipping on a couple of jeans (hmph, too snug. Surprising.) and a few tops (what's that bulging???) when it occurs to me that I'm witnessing a manifestation of "The Secret".

Maybe you heard about it on Oprah, or read the book yourself or watched the DVD or saw any of the pintillion articles written about it lately as the world slaps its head in a collective 'Doh!' as it takes in the concept of the Law of Attraction.

Based on everything in this world essentially being made of energy (don't believe me? Ask your science teacher) this "Secret" asserts that the universe will give you whatever you ask for. More than simple wish fulfillment, the theory is that by talking about or thinking about or imagining something, you create it in your own life. On the good side, if you picture yourself being happy and successful, the energy that creates that concept will attract or create the energy that makes it happen. Conversely, if you focus on being miserable, lonely and troubled... well, you will see that misery does indeed love company. Yours. Got it? And it works specifically- imagine a good day at work, finding the perfect pair of shoes and the universe will deliver.

So, let this serve as a warning to you. And a great reason to focus on the good stuff. Even karmically, I suppose, this serves as a lesson to be careful what you focus on and try to be sure it's mostly good and not evil.

This was my lesson and it was all driven home last night in the Marshall's dressing room. Ah yes, we're back to Marshall's.

Here's why.

Sometime ago, within the past year, I came across an article that coined the term 'muffin top' describing the rounded blob of fat spilling out over the top of a pair of jeans (particularly those slung too low). Well, I was highly amused having seen any number of women sporting the look and always wondering (cruelly, perhaps... okay. Just cruelly) 'What, no full length mirror?'. So I took the new word 'muffin top' and shared it, wrote about it, laughed about it and pretty much used it within an inch of it's unflattering little life.

Apparently The Universe was listening. So there I was last night standing slack jawed staring in the mirror and almost hearing the universal prankster snickering 'is this not what you asked for?'

Of course, having a hearty and healthy sense of humor I about doubled over laughing... and since I was shopping with Lain, we shared this cosmic joke and discussed a new style of dressing. We call it camouflage clothing (cause 'fat fashion' is just too harsh). A new wardrobe of flarey and flouncy, pouffy and very, very loose. Like revisiting maternity wear. Yes, we agreed, we could just eliminate fashions that fit and skim and hug and taper regarding them as evil purely designed to shame and depress you. Oh we were laughing so hard.

So now I have a choice. I can embrace the puffy look... or I can try to forget that Riverhead just got a new bakery, walk by the Entenmann's display, keep my hands at my side in the candy aisle. I could get a little (cough, cough) active... walk the dogs, rediscover yoga, or maybe just get up off the couch once in a while. Or maybe I can just imagine the fat melting off. (I can do that!) Whatever it is, I'm going to have to do something to make amends for the evil new silhouette that I have brought on myself.

"The Secret", it appears now, is to think thin. And never utter the words "muffin top" again.

Top 10 Books (I'm trying to read)

So, you know how you're always tripping across lists of books that people have just or recently read? Well, I gotta list sort of like that. Only mine is piled up next to my bed.

Someday that pile will be transformed into a list of books I too have found the time to read. But not today. Today the best I can do is to list the books I'm waiting to crack open. The top 10 closest to the bed and therefore, at least theoretically, next in line are:

1) Love Monkey by Kyle Smith. A novel that had me by the end of the second page read on Amazon.com (Go to the website and read for yourself... ) And actually this one I've already started on.
Update 3/22: finished it. Not as good as I'd hoped... sort of a Nick Hornby wannabe. Better off reading "High Fidelity" or "About A Boy"

2) Find More Time by Laura Stack. A book chock full of ideas to get more organized and get more done. If only I can find the time... Ironic, ain't it?

3) The Boleyn Inheritance by Phillipa Gregory. I've read a few of her historical novels (The Other Boleyn Girl, my first and so far favorite). This is the book I've borrowed from Lain and have to get done with so she can pass it on to Daria who is waiting for her turn. Oh, the guilt. Oh, the pressure.
Update 6/2: Finally finished and passed on. A fabulous book, like Phillipa's others, which I was sorry to see end.

And now we move from the nightstand to the pile on the floor next to the bed.

4) Is it hot in here? Or is it me? by Pat Wingert and Barbara Kantrowitz. Two editors from Newsweek who decided to tackle the myths and secrets of menopause. Written with wit and a sense of humor- two critical tools to getting through the subject as well.
Update 5/20: Haven't finished the book yet, but we've started planning the "Is It Hot in Here? Cruise" and invited Pat and Barbara along... Wanna come along?)

5) What Comes After Crazy by Sandi Kahn Shelton. Another novel written with a hefty helping of humor. Key to getting me to 'charge it please' and order it on up on Amazon.com I'll let you know, someday, if it lives up to its promise.
Update 4/24: Cindy says: Five Stars!! And oh boy, what a fabulous book... funny and engaging. Once I finally started it, I couldn't put it down. Now I gotta get the rest of Sandi's books... and start reading her blog at http://www.sandishelton.com/)

6) I Feel Bad About My Neck by Nora Ephron. See #5 only this one is by Nora, who has a pretty good track record on books I actually have read. See #3, another book Lain is waiting for.
Update 3/23: This was to be my follow up to 'Love Monkey' (see number 1) but... well, I feel bad about this book. If I want to hear somebody whining and complaining, I'll just call one of my friends and invite them to vent. At least then I could maybe help them feel better...

7) Running with Scissors by Augusten Burroughs. Odds are I'm not going to finish this one, but the movie trailer looked good and the pile wasn't quite big enough yet. And yes, it's Lain's but I think Daria got it before I did. There's a relief.

8) How to Want What you Have by Timothy Miller. A book that promises to help me 'discover the magic and grandeur of ordinary existence' which, come to think of it I'm already pretty in touch with. Maybe I can just pretend that I've read this one.

9) Florence of Arabia by Christopher Buckley. He had me at Thank You For Smoking and I've pretty much (eventually) read just about everything he's done since then.

10) Princess Bride by William Goldman. Of course, this one I have already read. Twice. But I found myself unable to resist buying the 25th anniversary edition with shiny book cover and now it taunts me... Plus, if you're reading this with a thought of taking a crack at any of these books, I'd really recommend Princess Bride. Charming, funny, engaging, magical... and then some.

Hopefully now that I've put these all down, maybe I'll be better motivated to get 'em all read. And then I can move on to the pile next to the pile next to the bed. Which I won't list now cause that would be just getting too silly.

FAKE CHECK SCAM (But I wasn't fooled)

Okay, so now for something completely serious- Got a special delivery letter (by a bonafide delivery service, I should add, who required my signature for delivery). The day of the delivery, I got a phone call at home from a woman who identified herself as being from "Zagat" and explaining that I had been chosen to help them in a marketing survey and would be compensated for my time.

Long story short, the package included a cashier's check in the amount of $3,875.00 and made out to me. I was being instructed to cash the check, take out $500 for my trouble and then go to a Money Gram location and, posing as a customer, wire the remainder of the money to an address in Canada, thus giving me the opportunity to evaluate the business...

Okay, so I didn't fall for it because I'm from New York and because I'm naturally cynical and because I knew nobody was going to blindly mail out a check for $3,875 and assume they'd get most of it back.

Did some on line checking (well, by Bob- I was too busy notifying Zagat that they're being misrepresented) led to the National Consumers League website (nclnet.org) which says fake check scams with wire transfers are the number one telemarketing fraud and 3rd on the list of internet-based scams.

I don't know how they got my name, home address and phone number (and am none to pleased about that) but I do know that the one thing all these scams seem to have in common seems to be a lack of mastering the English language.
We have seen this when we've looked closely at the emails notifying us that 'your ebay/PayPal, bank account has been suspended and again, in this case, it held true.

So how do you protect yourself? Do some research to see what's out there, keep your antenna up, look for grammatical errors, but mostly remember the age old adage 'if it seems to good to be true, it is".

Check out: www.nclnet.org/fraud

And good luck.

Chicago Bears cupcakes on the 30 Yard Line. Ah well, sorry my kitchen voodoo didn't help them grab the trophy and those big winner t-shirts (which, I understand are now being shipped off to dress poor children in third world countries. Poor tiny kids indeed, forced to dress in sportswear made for giant men.) At least the cupcakes were tasty.

Trolling through the internet... Came across this photo in Google's images and... well, it just took me back. Made me wanna make her a little dress (designing for trolls is easy as pie- as long as you have a pair of scissors and a safety pin, they're dressed to the nines. Of course, it's all about the fabric.)

TEN THINGS I LIKE ABOUT WINTER

Oh dear. So much for my BIG IDEA of doing a monthly blog... sort of a "here's where I'm at" sort of thing. But that's just one more instance of the expectation not meeting the reality. Darn it, gotta work on not procrastinating so much. Maybe tomorrow. 

Meanwhile, since I finally got around to writing again, I thought I'd keep up my practice of looking for the bright side, the silver lining, etc, etc, Since we've still got some winter to go (darn it) I thought this would be a great time for me to be positive and so, I present to you my list of-- Ten Things I Like About Winter. 

1) It's not any colder. When I step outside and my face freezes and my eyes tear, that's what I keep repeating... it could be colder, it could be colder. And I try to be grateful for that. Twenty degrees? It could be minus twenty. Okay, maybe I gotta work harder at looking for the bright side... 

2) A surprise snowfall. Ah, now I'm getting somewhere! Especially when you're curled up at home with plenty of milk and bread and no where you have to be anytime soon. Being able to look outside and just watch it fall can take your breath away. 

 

3) The morning after a big snowfall. Early, before the melting has begun, before footprints, before anything... when the sun is up and the brilliant white is everywhere. When every branch is piled with snow, every bush, every rooftop... and if you're really lucky you can spot a few icicles catching the sun and sparkling like long diamonds. 

 

4) Snowmen. Not even having to make 'em yourself- but being out after a good snow and seeing the fruit of someone else's labor (my neighbor Sisco and his kids make a pretty good snowman). They come in all sizes, similar shapes but different apparel. And they always crack me up. 

 

5) Hot Chocolate. Especially after you've been out with the cold biting at your face. 

 

6) Umm.... there has to be more things to like about winter. Lemme see... I know! TV!! Yup, lots of good excuses to watch TV cause it's too cold/snowy/windy/dark to go out and do stuff. Yeah... television... 

 

7) Man, this is getting hard. Okay, here's another one- in honor of the couple of pounds that some of us pack on during the winter months- you can justify it by calling it INSULATION! Yeah, it's not bad at all! It's my body just helping protect me from freezing to death. Nice. Somebody pass me another Twinkie. 

8) Oh boy. Eight... Geez. Well, maybe I'll have to make this Eight Things to Like About Winter. Well, there's... uh.... how about... no, that doesn't work... 

Okay, I surrender. I can't come up with 10 things to like because winter is dark and cold and nobody really likes it at all, do they? I'm trying to put a positive spin on it and rack my brain for the good in winter and the best I can really come up with is this: My personal favorite thing about Winter. It's followed by Spring. Cause I simply love Spring. Come on, Springtime!! 

 Maybe the best thing about winter is that it makes Spring all that much more precious and delicious because winter itself is the season to just survive. Right? So there you go... not quite 10 but some things to like about winter. And the promise of spring.... by which time I should be able to get another entry in this blog. By the way, if you can come up with anything you actually like about winter, I'd love to hear it. Meantime, I gotta go put on some more hot chocolate.